Is My Dog Trying to Dominate Me? Understanding the Truth Behind “Dominance Theory” in Dogs

If you’ve ever been told your dog is “trying to be the boss,” “challenging you,” or attempting to become the “alpha,” you’re definitely not alone.

For many years, dog training advice centred around dominance theory - the idea that dogs are constantly trying to climb a social hierarchy and become the “pack leader” within the household.

This led to owners being told they needed to show authority by:

• walking through doorways first

• eating before their dog

• preventing dogs from going on furniture

• never allowing dogs to walk ahead

• or using physical techniques such as the “alpha roll”

While these ideas were once extremely common, our understanding of dog behaviour has developed significantly over time.

Where Did Dominance Theory Come From?

Much of the original “alpha” and “pack leader” theory came from early studies of captive wolves living in artificial environments.

These wolves were unrelated individuals forced to live together, which often created conflict and competition.

The scientist behind the original wolf hierarchy theory later clarified that wild wolf packs actually function much more like family groups, led by parents rather than individuals constantly fighting for dominance.

It’s also important to remember that dogs are not wolves and modern behavioural science shows that dog–human relationships are very different from wolf social structures.

Does Certain Behaviour Mean My Dog Is Trying to Be “Alpha”?

Many normal dog behaviours are often mistakenly labelled as “dominance” or attempts to become the “pack leader.”

People commonly ask questions such as:

• “Is my dog trying to dominate me by jumping up?”

• “Does my dog think he’s alpha?”

• “Is humping a sign of dominance?”

• “Why does my dog climb all over me?”

• “Does my dog walking through the door first mean they’re dominant?”

In reality, these behaviours are usually linked to things like:

• excitement

• stress

• frustration

• over-arousal

• learned behaviour

• lack of impulse control

• or a dog trying to gain attention or meet a need.

Dogs repeat behaviours that have worked for them before, not because they are trying to take over the household.

For example, a dog jumping up may simply be trying to greet someone or access attention. Humping can happen for many different reasons too, including excitement, stress, play, overstimulation, or frustration.

Rather than focusing on “being the boss,” modern training looks at why a behaviour is happening and teaches dogs more appropriate ways to cope, communicate, and succeed.

Are Dogs Being “Submissive”?

Dogs are not constantly trying to “dominate” us and in the same way, they are not truly “submitting” to us either.

Many behaviours people interpret as “submission” are actually known as appeasement behaviours. Dogs may display these behaviours when they feel uncertain, uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or are trying to avoid conflict and diffuse social tension.

For example:

• lip licking

• turning away

• lowering the body

• avoiding eye contact

• paw lifting

• rolling over

can all be signs that a dog is feeling unsure, attempting to communicate discomfort or diffuse tension - not necessarily “accepting someone as pack leader.”

This is one of the reasons modern, reward-based training focuses on helping dogs feel safe, understood and confident, rather than relying on fear or intimidation.

What Does Modern Dog Training Focus On Instead?

Modern dog training focuses less on control and more on:

• communication

• trust

• consistency

• emotional wellbeing

• relationship building

• and teaching dogs what we do want them to do.

Dogs still need guidance, boundaries, and clear expectations - but these can be taught without force, fear, or intimidation.

For example, if you need your dog to wait at a doorway, move away from the kitchen, or settle calmly around guests, this can be taught through clear communication and positive reinforcement rather than physical correction or “showing dominance.”

Training should help dogs learn how to navigate our world successfully while strengthening the relationship they share with us.

Final Thoughts

Your dog is not trying to control you, manipulate you, or become “alpha.”

Most behaviours labelled as “dominance” are better understood as communication, excitement, stress, frustration, or simply learned behaviour.

With kind, reward-based guidance and realistic support, dogs can learn appropriate behaviours without fear or force - helping both dogs and their humans feel calmer, more confident, and better understood.

Training doesn’t need to rely on intimidation to be effective. In fact, some of the strongest relationships are built through trust, clarity, consistency and cooperation.